Emily's+Responses

Erin - I really liked the detail. The only thing is it might be a little long and drag on a bit. If you want, maybe just focus on one aspect of teaching in your life and then touch on the others because I don't really think it's about the amount of teaching you did but more of how you changed because of teaching. I could be wrong. If you want to keep everything, maybe just compare them more in the last paragraph. Great essay!

Alec - I really liked the analogies and hearing about the different music you listen to. Since this was the definition essay, maybe just make it more apparent in each paragraph of how each type of music defines you in a different way. Also, something technical, I think the song Since You Been Gone should be in quotes. Good job!

Andrea - I really liked how you explained your lack of contact with people with disabilities before and how going to the Special Olympics changed your opinion. I think the lesson is really great. Maybe you could say if you used the competitors' camaraderie as an example in your own life and if going to the Special Olypics changed the way you acted around people in general. Good paper!