Alex's+Responses

Here are some of my responses:

Music: A Definition of Me and My Personality By Alec Avery This paper really gives an insight into your music choices and I agree with you that music definitely gives insight into who a person is. At the same time, I think your paper can give a little more focus onto the personal aspects of how each piece fits with you and your life. When is the best time to listen to each genre? Is there any time that music really got you through something important? Maybe expand ideas like when you mention your dad and him bringing you up to listen to music from Led Zepplin etc. You do a good job of portraying the differences between each genre and each band, but a little more insight into personal effect it may have on you could add a little more. Very good though !

Becoming A Teacher by Erin Ferguson Very good. I think that you do a very good job at reaching the audience and making sure we know which school is which and what each teaching group is. When you talked about how you aspired to be like some of the teachers that you have had, are there any specific teachers that you may want to mention? Bringing China into the equation was unique because its a different experience from teaching at breakthrough or girl scouts, but watch that it doesn't became overly prominent (unless that's what you want) because I felt like you wanted some balance between the three? But if it is a larger focal to the path to teaching then that's fine too. Good job !

My First Special Olympics by Andrea Green I really enjoyed reading this story. You definitely captivate your audience with your honesty to the whole situation. I really like how you compare and contrast the competitiveness of the athletes compared to those without disabilities. Talking about John also made it more personal because you struggle with the choice of wanting to help because you feel like you should. Maybe something to add would be to expand on this struggle of whether you felt like you needed to help because he was disabled or just because it would have been the right thing to do? Would you have helped him if he weren't disabled. Nice paper though !